Card 2
Today my brother dared me to walk backwards and just my luck, I fell off the edge of the mountain. I couldn't believe i just accepted that dare. I saw that my hands were all bruised they hurt so much I said to myself "well I better start climbing" but when I did I realized my hands were bruised. I tried my best forgetting about my bruises and climbed, but every time I tried I failed. I was as mad as a bull seeing red. I get revenge on him so I tried again one last time forgetting everything pulling on the hard sharp rocks that were killing my hands.when I felt the grassy top and pulled up. Then my parents said "where have you been you missed our yummy lunch. I saw my brother hiding under the bench. my face turned into a tomato and marched towards my brother.
red = Metaphor
pink =simile
I really like your story but I think you should put a comma inbetween bruised and they. 'I saw that my hands were all bruised they hurt so much I said to myself' Don't forget to use capital letters.
ReplyDeleteI think you should make the i a capital I,I couldn't believe( i) I like the way you got revenge
ReplyDelete